I saw something on BoingBoing which intrigued me:

Livejournaller Crisper points out that January 27th (Lewis Carroll’s birthday) is the fifth annual “Rabbit Hole Day,” wherein bloggers and journallers change their blogging style for 24h. I’ll be getting off an overnight flight returning from the awesome Cryptic Confusion science fiction convention outside of Detroit that morning, but who knows, maybe I’ll whomp up a post or two about my personal life, pets, or similar on the cab ride back into town…

At first read I almost wholely misunderstood the intent of this. Change my blogging style for 24 hours?  That, in my case, would mean posting something at the beginning of the day rather than the end of the day! Aside from that — my blogging style is pretty eclectic as it is. And since I usually don’t post more than once in a 24-hour day — it really wouldn’t affect me in the same way as some who do…

(I suppose I could spent January 27 refraining from using “–” in my blog entries.  Apparently I doublehypen quite a bit…)

(And I overuse elipses.)

I saw it as something different — something which I’ve seen on April Fools Day in the blogosphere and elsewhere. I’m reminded of an April Fools Day a while back where daily strip cartoonists decided to trade authorships for the day.  So the guy who usually drew Garfield (Jim Davis) would pen “For Better or For Worse.” Everyone would have a chance to play “dress-up” with each others work.

Let’s face it: I’ve completely run out of blogging ideas. I could just choose generic memes and fill them out, but there’s plenty of creativity out there in my blog circles which I’ve seen.  It got me thinking:  is it unethical to steal other people’s ideas and post them to my blog? Would something like that be deemed plagiarism? What if I change a few inconsequential details around, a la McDowell’s restaurant in Coming to America? Would that still be plagiarism?

It probably would be, yes. Which is why I present:

In two short days I will lay claim to the best of the PRB* and pretend to be all clever for using ideas that were not originally mine.  I was thinking of attributing the work of others for people to reference, but I’m still struggling with that: how can I attribute and call it plagiarism?  I suppose I’ll determine the answer for that starting on Tuesday and continuing for the next seven days.

Stay tuned…

__

* People’s Republic of Blogistan, a term that I made up myself.**

** See? I’m doing it already!

As a particpant in The Great Interview Experiment orchestrated by the perpetual Citizen of the Month, I had the honor of being interviewed by the lovely Marinka of Motherhood in NYC.  She was lovely. And you know what? Apparently so was I.

While I pump my ego back down a few notches, feel free to take a look here.

Sorry I haven’t blogged lately, blah blah blah. Due to a lack of creativity, I’m stealing this meme that’s been going around — and, in my usual flavor, I’ll be a smart-ass about it.

UPDATE: I’m re-posting this because I realized that some of you thought that the lyrics posted were actually fabricated by me. Well – they’re not.  And because of this, I’ve made it incredibly easy for you all to cheat.  I’ve assembled all snippets belong into an audio file.

I challenge you all to identify the lyrics below without the sound file. But if you get stuck — feel free to use it.

Here Be Rules:

1. Put your mp3 player or music player on your computer on random. When you think about it, can this be completely random? I have music and sound files all over the place, and simply grouping it together is still an unrandom subset. So I might as well just choose myself.

2. Post the first four lines from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song (Skip repeat artists). Some songs don’t even have four lines. Some of them are just far too obvious with four lines. Thus — I’ll give you an excerpt. Could be four lines, could be less.

3. Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.

4. Don’t fucking cheat, you Google whores! Please cheat if you so desire.

Ready? Set? Go!

1. Na na na na na, Na na na na na, Na na na na na na na, Na na na na na / Na na na na na na …

Roxette – The Look

2. Na na na na na na na na / Na na na na na na na na na na / Na na na na na / Na na na na na na…

Natalie Merchant – Kind and Generous

3. Na na na na na, na na na na, na na na na na na na na na na na.

Gwen Stefani – Rich Girl

4. Na na na na na na na / Na na na na…

The Beatles – Hey Jude

5. Na na na na na na na, Na na na na na…

Wil Smith – Gettin’ Jiggy With It

6. Na na na na, Na na na na / Na na na na na na — Na na na na…

Bruce Willis – Respect Yourself

7. Na na na na na na, Na na na na na na / Na na na na na na na na na na na…

Journey – Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’

8. Sha na na na na na na na, Sha na na na na…

The Brady Bunch – Time to Change

9. Sha la la la la la la la la da la de da…

Van Morrison – Brown Eyed Girl

10. Bomp Bomp Oh Yeah / Chick, Chick-chickahhhhh…

Yello – Oh Yeah

11. *instrumental*

The Allman Brothers – Jessica

12. … why / Why, why, why, why…

Oasis – Champagne Supernova

13. Shoop shoop ba-doop, shoop ba-doop, shooop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop…

Salt n’ Pepa – Shoop

14. Be my little baby / Baby my darling / Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh…

Eddie Money – Take Me Home Tonight

15. Ay-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay / Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh yea-ah …

Pearl Jam – Jeremy

16. *instrumental*

Jan Hammer – (Theme to) Miami Vice

17. *silence*

John Cage – 4″33

18. Ah ah ah / Ah ah ah / Oh oh oh / Oh oh oh / Ah Hah ah / Ah Hah ah / Doo doo doo La la la la la…

Wham! – Everything She Wants

19. Diggy dang diggy dang da dang dang da diggy diggy diggy dang dang / Diggy dang diggy diggy…

Newcleus – Jam on It

20. Oh oh oh oh oh / Oh oh oh oh / Oh oh oh oh oh …

New Kids on the Block – The Right Stuff

Good luck!

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Because I’m incredibly unoriginal, I’m stealing this meme from Avitable among others: I’m going to post Entertainment Weekly’s Top 100 movies of the past 25 years and boldface the ones I’ve seen.

However, since I’m slightly original and kind of a douche, I’m going to add a twist: next to each of the movies I’ve seen, I’m going to reveal the ending for everyone who hasn’t seen ‘em. That way you don’t have to rent any of these! You’re welcome…

1. Pulp Fiction (1994) - Jules lets them rob the restaurant, but makes them give back his wallet.
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)
3. Titanic (1997) - it sinks.
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995) - Buzz and Woody make it to Andy’s new house in one piece, and then Andy gets a puppy.
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991) - They catch Buffalo Bill, but Hannibal Lechter escapes and starts eating people again.
9. Die Hard (1988) - John McLean and Holly get back together, and Holly punches the reporter dude in the face.
10. Moulin Rouge (2001) – Satine dies after declaring her love, and the Ewan MacGreggor dude writes a book about it.
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984) - The band gets back together and does a tour in Japan.
12. The Matrix (1999) - Neo can stop bullets and the Agent Smith bad guys.
13. GoodFellas (1990) – Henry Hill testifies against the mob and goes into witness protection.
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
16. Boogie Nights (1997) - Dirk Diggler shows us his anaconda-sized penis.
17. Jerry Maguire (1996) – The “Show me the money!” football guy is shown the money. Jerry and Dorothy and the cute glasses kid live happily ever after.
18. Do the Right Thing (1989) – Mookie throws a trash can through the plate-glass window of the pizzeria.
19. Casino Royale (2006) – “Bond. James Bond.” And then he caps the guy’s ass.
20. The Lion King (1994) – “It’s the ciiiiiiiircle of liiiiiife….”
21. Schindler’s List (1993) - He saves those on the list from death. They are grateful.
22. Rushmore (1998) – Dude — this movie was so messed up that I can’t remember what happened. Something about directing a play…
23. Memento (2001) – Teddy has been using Leonard to kill durg dealers, and Leonard eventually kills Teddy.
24. A Room With a View (1986)
25. Shrek (2001) - He kisses the princess and she turns into Shrekette!
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986) – Ripley kills the alien queen. Or does she…
28. Wings of Desire (1988)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004) - “He said I look tired! He must have been watching me through this window all along! Gadzooks!”
30. When Harry Met Sally… (1989) – They finally hook up and get married.
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999) – Tyler Durden is Jack’s Id! And they blow up all the credit card companies.
33. The Breakfast Club (1985) – High school students of different peer groups smoke weed and open up to each other.
34. Fargo (1996) - Marge shoots or arrests everyone in sight.
35. The Incredibles (2004) – The baby is a total super-spazz.
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004) – Look, Mary-Jane! Peter Parker is Spider-Man! And Harry Osborne is totally pissed…
37. Pretty Woman (1990) - Richard Gere realizes he’s in love with the hooker.
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) – They get their memories erased and give it a second chance.
39. The Sixth Sense (1999) – Look! Bruce Willis was dead all along!
40. Speed (1994) - They get everyone off the bus before it explodes. Dennis Hopper gets his head chopped off on top of a subway. Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock make out on the street.
41. Dazed and Confused (1993) – They all decide to camp out for Aerosmith tickets.
42. Clueless (1995) – Cher falls in love with her stepbrother.
43. Gladiator (2000)
44. The Player (1992) – The movie-in-a-movie has a happy ending. This is Hollywood, after all…
45. Rain Man (1988) – Charlie drops Raymond back off at the home in time for him to watch Wapner.
46. Children of Men (2006) – It’s a baby! And it gets picked up by the Human Project ship!
47. Men in Black (1997) – The galaxy is just a friggin’ marble in a friggin’ game of marbles!
48. Scarface (1983)
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
50. The Piano (1993)
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988) – OJ Simpson gets pushed down the stairs. (See? A happy ending…)
53. The Truman Show (1998) – Truman leaves the stage.
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)
55. Risky Business (1983) – Joel buys back all of his parents’ stuff and gets into Princeton
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)
58. Ghostbusters (1984) – They obliterate Gozer — and the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man.
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996)
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984) – Axel Foley kills Victor Maitland and steals terry cloth robes from the Beverly Hills Hilton.
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)
63. Big (1988) - He turns into a 13 year-old boy again.
64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987) – Nobody put Baby in a corner anytime soon, I’ll tell you that…
66. Natural Born Killers (1994) - Micky and Mallory videotape themselves shooting Robert Downey Jr. with a really annoying Australian accent.
67. Donnie Brasco (1997) - Donnie snitches on Lefty. “Fugettaboutit.”
68. Witness (1985)
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987) – seven years later, they all have jobs.
71. Unforgiven (1992)
72. Thelma & Louise (1991) - they drive the car into the Grand Canyon.
73. Office Space (1999) – The place burns down, but not before Milton scurries off with all the money.
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006) – Matt Damon kills Leonardo DiCaprio.  Mark Wahlberg kills Matt Damon.
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) – They lower the Terminator and the computer chip into the fire to be destroyed forever.
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996) – Guffman never shows!
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
81. Moonstruck (1987)
82. Lost in Translation (2003) – They kiss and go their separate ways.
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004) – Maya read Miles’s novel — and loved it!
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005) – He loses his virginity.
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
87. Swingers (1996) – Mikey finally gets over her — right when she calls him to get back together.
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) – Austin and Ms. Kensington get married.
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004) – Everyone votes for Pedro.
91. Back to the Future (1985) - “Your kids, Marty! Something has to be done about your kids!”
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) – The Talented Mr. Ripley kills everyone and gets away with it.
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999) – They all die.
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999) – Everybody learns to welcome Canadians and Satan. And Kenny goes to heaven.

Hi all — sorry for such a late post. I know that many of you are used to finding the answers to last week smack dab at 12:00am EDT.  My apologies for those of you who are going through 19+ hours of withdrawal.

So — let’s hop to it!

1. What’s the correct spelling of your name?
Big S, small h, small i, big N, small y, and a star.

This is how Sara Jessica Parker’s character spelled her name in L.A. Story.

2. Tell me about your parents. What do you feel were some of the challenges in living with them?
It felt like I was alone in a world so cold. Perhaps I was too demanding of them, but my father always seemed too bold, and my mother was never satisfied. We always screamed at each other.

The lyrics are paraphrased from Prince’s #1 hit, When Doves Cry from the Purple Rain soundtrack.

3. And what about your older brother? Did you two get along well?
I always have to cover for him. I prefer the company of my twin sister and my little brother, Buster.

These are Michael Bluth’s siblings on Arrested Development.

4. Where did you put your son’s crib when he came home from the hospital as a newborn?
In the center of the room. Not in the corner.

Nobody puts baby in a corner! So said Patrick Swayze’s character in Dirty Dancing.

5. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
An old vintage Cadillac. With a Grateful Dead decal stuck on it.

This comes from Don Henley’s 1984 hit, The Boys of Summer.

6. Have you had any car trouble lately?
I have. Turns out that there was a banana stuck up my tailpipe.

It’s how Eddie Murphy’s Axel Foley character disabled the car following him in Beverly Hills Cop. (And yes, it was referenced in the Clerks cartoon series where Judge Reinhold guest starred — alluding to the movie.)

7. How do you feel about organ donation?
I’m all for it. When I die, I’m donating my eyes to Stevie Wonder.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

8. Do you play a musical instrument?
I’m in a Police cover-band.

I was talking about Kevin on The Office – whose cover band is called Scrantonicity II. (It has nothing to do with his old band, Scrantonicity.)

9. What do you feel is the best attribute of women in general?
Their willingness to do the dishes, clean up my room, do the laundry, the bathroom, etc.

This was a tough one — but these are attributes listed in the Beastie Boys’ song Girls.

10. Do you have any pets?
We have this adorably cute animal with three eyes and a ravenous appetite.

Although The Simpsons has a cute trademark three-eyed fish, I was talking about Nibbler, the cute three-eyed, um… Nibblonian on Futurama.

11. Shiny, are you homophobic? Do you have something against gay people?
Not at all! Actually, some of my best friends are gay! Take, for instance, Mark “Cutback” Davis and Bob “Jungle Vet” Gerard. Those guys are fags!

Thank you all for not Googling these two guys’ names.  If you had, you would have seen that the line came right from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. (And kudos for those of you who got it, too.)

12. I heard about your uncle, the famous defense attorney. Is he any good?
He’s very good. He uses 52% of his brain. Clocked…

Another very tough one — it’s from a pretty amazing and funny movie called Defending Your Life.

13. Hey — can I snatch a Pepsi from your fridge?
It ain’t free, pal. If you want it; you’ll have to pay for it…

It was a now anachronistic line about an anachronism from Back to the Future when Marty asks for a Pepsi Free back in 1955. Try asking for one of those today…

14. What would you do with a million dollars?
Two chicks at the same time.

This was Dietrich Bader’s character’s answer in Office Space.

15. Do you ever blog anonymously? How would I know it’s you?
I guess it’s the purple prose that always gives me away…

OOOOH! It’s EMF’s Unbelievable.

As for the winner of the Strait-Line Rolling Tape: There were 96 correct answers. I went to my local Fed-Ex Kinkos and printed numbers 1 through 96 on some 20 lb. 11″x17″ sky blue cardstock, using a thermal laser printer/plotter at the store. I then carefully laminated each card twice — in order to preserve each number printed in a legible san-serif font.

At that point I folded each piece of cardstock in half, widthwise.  I went to the party store next door and purchased a very, very large novelty hat which could hold 96 big pieces of cardstock. I carefully placed the cardstock tickets in the hat, folded and with numbers obscured.

I then connected with a very prestigious, DC area escort service which caters to the Capitol Hill community. I hired Jenna, a 5’7″ redhead with an athletic, natural body, to meet me at an upscale hotel room in the DC suburbs. After paying her honorarium, I blindfolded her (which, apparently, was $50 extra) and had her choose one of the 96 numbered pieces of cardstock in the oversized hat.

She chose number 21 and then quickly left.  The entire ordeal, including printing, purchases at the party store, hotel reservation and “entertainment fees,” cost me $776.54.  And it was all to ensure that our winner, the one assigned to #21, would be chosen fairly, randomly and with class.

The winner is Nat! Congratulations — I’ll be in touch to get your address and, of course, bill you the $776.54 as a “choosing fee.”

As for the rest of you — check out this week’s Lazy Sunday at avitable’s site for a chance to win another super prize.  Thanks to all for participating last week.

Call me unoriginal, call me a joiner…

… and some of you are probably groaning. Shiny, I thought you were above such standardized memes! Haven’t you already done something like this anyway?

Of course, you folks are probably referring to a similar meme in which questions are asked and the answers are queried through Google Images and posted. However, the meme that’s been sweeping the blogosphere as of late has two very, very large differences:

(1) Images are taken from flickr rather than Google Images.

(2) The presentation is no longer in a list, but rather in a “mosaic.”

Well, “mosaic” is a bit misleading. It’s just a simple grid of pictures. But still! That makes it different!

I decided, however, to change up some of the questions abit to make this my own. Curiously, however, Flickr didn’t fail me in the least!

The concept:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

Here we go:

1. Who is your favorite superhero?
2. Where did you buy your last article of clothing?
3. What power-couple do you feel will dominate the world, if not the universe?
4. Hey – any ideas as to how that stain on the carpet got there?
5. Who played “Uncle Arthur” on “Bewitched?”
6. Hey — who took my tiara?
7. Hey — who finished off my box of Apple Jacks?
8. Hey — Wasn’t there a bottle of vodka here a second ago?
9. What is your favorite fruit?

And here’s the so-called mosaic…

Funny how these things turn out…

While I’m fielding threats of bodily harm from you all, I suppose I should announce that I was honored to be “snacked” today by Dawg himself. He enjoyed my political post from this past week. Thanks, Dawg!

I apologize for the lack of creativity to this post, but this specific image was too powerful not to post:

This comes from the blog of an amazing, strong and noble woman (and friend) whose hometown was devastated by a tornado several days ago. The family jumped into the car and drove the 20-some hours to Iowa to help. The way she conveys the…

Just — take a look at this in context for yourselves. She explains herself a hell of a lot better through her images and words than I ever could.

I’m proud to have you as a friend, Britt. Thanks for imparting the lessons you’ve learned.

I was “tagged” by the lovely Turnbaby today. Yes. that Turnbaby. The one whose BlogTalkRadio show, Turnbaby Talks, will be on tomorrow (Sunday) night at 8pm EDT. I advise you to log in and wait at your computers for 20 hours until it comes on.

This is a meme. I know I promised myself I would mostly stay away from them, but hey — perhaps a slight amount of memery isn’t so bad, is it? she got it from Sanni-Licious who got it from… well, click and find out yourselves.

If I were a direction I’d be… “If you’ve reached the 7-Eleven, you’ve gone too far.”

If I were furniture I’d be… an Ikea entertainment system.

If I were a liquid I’d be… Green Tea Frappucino. No whipped cream.

If I were a sin I’d be… gluttony. Sweet, sweet gluttony…

If I were a gem/stone I’d be… cubic zirconium.

If I were a metal I’d be… sodium.

If I were a tree I’d be… one of those mock cell-phone tower trees.

If I were a fruit I’d be… ripe.

If I were a flower I’d be… thorny.

If I were weather I’d be… sleet.

If I were a music instrument I’d be… a harpsichord.

If I were an element I’d be… seaborgium.

If I were a colour I’d be… #5F9EA0.

If I were an animal I’d be… I am an animal. But if I were a different one? a new world monkey.

If I were a sound I’d be… a quiet, country road. First thing in the morning. With the sound of a truck barely audible at a great distance in the background.

If I were a lyric I’d be… Cold is cold / Brother when you make a stand / If you don’t like your cards / Draw another hand. (I’ll be quite impressed if anyone else gets this one…)

If I were a song I’d be: Watching the Detectives – Elvis Costello and the Attractions

If I were a music type I’d be… alternative rock. Not the mass-marketed bullshit that became corporate “rock alternative” in the mid-1990s. No. We’re talking about the stuff that makes PJ Harvey sound like Gloria Estefan.

If I were a perfume/cologne I’d be… expensive. And scarce. And highly effective.

If I were a feeling I’d be… fear of getting caught.

If I were a book I’d be… Night of the Avenging Blowfish – John Welter

If I were food I’d be… Fettucine Alfredo.

If I were a city I’d be… Chapel Hill, NC.

If I were a taste I’d be… Spicy.

If I were a scent I’d be… smelly.

If I were a word I’d be… phagocytosis.

If I were a verb I’d be… predicating.

If I were an object I’d be… Again, I am an object. And I like it that way…

If I were a piece of clothing I’d be… Natalie Portman’s undergarments. There. I said it.

If I were a body part I’d be… a pelvis.

If I were an facial expression I’d be… wide expression of surprise

If I were a cartoon character I’d be… Bender from “Futurama.”

If I were a movie I’d be… This is Spinal Tap.

If I were a geometrical figure I’d be… a Star of Lakshimi.

If I were one of the 4 seasons I’d be… Frankie Valli. No question.

If I were a sentence I’d be… Life without the possibility of parole.

And now — for no particular reason relating to this post — a video of today’s festivities. Av is the little guy in the red hoodie running around with a small Buzz Lightyear kite. I’m the shmoe with the rainbow kite and the unseasonal, goofy looking cream-colored cargo pants. Enjoy!

Yesterday socKs showed me something online that has had my brain in a tizzy. I’m usually pretty good at guessing a song by snippets of song lyrics (and especially by a snippet of the music). There would be no doubt that having all of the lyrics for the entire song in front of me would make it a whole lot easier! Right?

Well…

Here’s the deal: You’re presented with the lyrics to a popular song. Butall of the words appear in alphabetical order. And each word appears once — no matter how many times it’s sung in the song. For some reason, this drove me wild. Some of them were easy to spot; some of them took me quite a while. You can look at that quiz, cleverly titled “And Great Lyrics Quiz Rock Roll The.”

I decided to do my own with songs (mostly) from the ’80s, ’90s and the current decade. Some of the ones I chose are quite easy. Some of them require some thought.

Good luck!

1.

a across age alive alone and answers anything at be boy but can’t ‘cept course daddy day deserve didn’t do dyin’ for glad got have hey him home huh I I’m if is just know little look man’s nothin’ now of oh question ready real remember room said see she sittin’ slowly so something son sorry stare still story talked that the there thirteen this thought to uh very walks was we well were what where while who wrong yeah you you’re young your

2.

against agony all amputee an and are around been bit body bored boring breeding but can’t cause clearer cloning coming commit crazy cretins curves cut damn digging does doesn’t don’t even ever everybody’s evil feeding feel feels fine fingertips flagpole for forget found get god had have head hear hell holes hospital hot hurt I I’d I’m if in into irony it it’s just kill killing legs like little live looking machines me memories met mind mine mirror moles my naughty nerves never no not now of off oh one only own paranoia people pierce publish put rage rottenness run runnin’ salutes say see sick sin snoring so sounds stupid sublime swear that the them then they they’re this time to told tongue trivial turn tv underground up visions voices wanna was well when who with world you you’re your zines

3.

a after air alone and are at babe baby back be beach boys brown but by cadillac can combed crazy days deadhead did don’t down dream drivin’ ‘em empty everyone feel for forever forget get go goes gone gonna got hair happened have head home house how I I’m if in inside it just knew know lake let little look love made me my never nights nobody not now of on our out pulled radio reach real remember road said saw scream see shinin’ should show skin slicked slow smilin’ sticker still streets strong summer summer’s sun sunglasses tell that the those though thought to today top understand voice walkin’ was wayfarers what will wonder you you’re your

4.

a all an and another asking away baby back be because becomes before blues body but can’t cause comes could devotion don’t door down emotion every everybody faith floor foolish for from games give giving go got gotta guess has have heart help hold I I’ll I’m I’ve if it just know like love loverboy man maybe me mean more my need nice not notion ocean of off on pick play please reconsider reconsidered river rules say saying showing some someone something stay strong takes that the them think this throw tied time to too touch twice up wait well when who without word would yeah yesterday you you’re your

5.

a all America’s an and another apart are around at away baby back be beat been believe blind breathe broken but buy can can’t capital captain case chair chamber charity cigarette city city’s court crime doin’ down eat end everybody’s fame far for fortune gamble game gas general girls go gonna good gotta grass green hard have hazardous he he’s heart here home how I I’d I’ll I’m I’ve in is it it’s jester just keep know like line livin’ losin’ me million mind must my now of oh or paradise pay please pretty pushin’ quite rags remember riches said say says see seen so somethin’ start strapped street surgeon take tell that’s the their they time times to torn tough treat turn under urchin want when where who why with won’t ya yeah you your

6.

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One of these days I’ll have prizes and stuff. really

She did it! And I’m pleasantly shocked and surprised that she was so accurate about so many of them. Take a look at her blog to see what I wrote about her. If anything, I would say that her list about me is far more precise than the one I wrote about her. Kudos to you, Ms. Narf…

ALL THAT IS SHINY

1. My jeans are much stiffer than my cargo pants

Well, yeah. As a general rule. I live in cargo pants. Lots of pockets. I carry a cel phone and a Blackberry pretty much everywhere I go…

2. I had the baby first, then the marriage

I got married in 1998 and had the kid in 2002. But let’s not assume that time flows in one direction only.

3. Yes, my car really has a take out license plate

Cute. It is a cool personalized license plate. But it’s not “TAKEOUT.”

4. “Minnesota” makes my son belly laugh

Dude — I so have to record my son laughing at something incredibly intesely. It’s infectious. And at times it’s just certain words. And Lands of 10,000 Lakes.

5. I don’t participate in HNT. Yet.

Only time will tell…

6. The best part of my job is training / teaching

Yes. I work in the technical world for a large telecommunications company. The simplified version of what I do: I fix the Internet. But I love teaching people the skills and tools used in order to do so from the devices on the backbone of the Information Superhighw… Okay. I’ve said too much already…

7. Potato latkes are popular in my home (mmmmmm, now I am hungry)

They are. Especially with the kid. Who is a fussy eater but enjoys certain holiday specific (Hanukkah) foods.

8. I have looked at, and commented on, naked man butts on the internet

Who hasn’t?

9. My wife has an art degree…she can sew and is incredibly creative

Absolutely. You can see some of her handiwork at her “Spool Of Fred” blog.

10. I miss my mom

Yeah. She died very suddenly in 2006 a few days short of her 61st birthday. Really turned my family’s life upside down at the time. She was a wonderful woman.

11. There are more phones in my home than there are in some offices

If you include non-working cel phones and cordless phones? Yup.

12. I vote

Well duh! They give out free hookers and beer to people who vote.

13. There are frogs in my backyard

Actually, never seen a frog in my backyard. Or front yard. We did have some rat sightings a few years back (ew!), but now it’s mostly squirrels and birds.

EDIT: I forgot about “Zoot,” the funky metal frog statue which lives next to our front steps…

14. I own, and wear, red Crocs

Yup! With the University of Maryland insignia. Got them for my birthday.

15. I have no problem stealing from others (blog fodder of course!)

Haven’t lost any sleep yet.

16. Balls Crossing is a neighborhood near my home

I so have to post a picture of that sign…

17. Gum is a must have for me… MUST. HAVE.

Yes! Gum is my crack cocaine. Trident Pina Colada, to be more specific.

18. I watched the new Knight Rider movie because I love talking wise-ass cars

Again, who doesn’t?

19. My brother is a rabbi

20. I am not a rabbi

Both true. Although I’ve played the rabbi part on many occasions and have been mistaken for one in places as varied as Charlottesville, VA and Giessen, Germany. It’s also important to mention that my brother is one of the coolest rabbis I know.

21. My son calls me Abba

Yup. His name is Avi. (Although we didn’t name him after Avitable, we actually do have a piece of furniture in our home which could be considered an “Avi Table.”) We’re raising him semi-bilingually; Abba is Hebrew for “Dad.”

22. Before blogging was cool, I was a blogger

Since February 1985! I’ll explain further if people are interested…

23. I honestly try to remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion even if sometimes it ain’t easy

… and occasionally I succeed at this.

24. Sometimes my wife dyes tiger stripes in her hair

… rawrrr…

25. I have downloaded Weird Al songs

Guilty. My first downloaded song was by Weird Al. Sometime in the late 90s.

26. Shamrock shakes make me happy

Yup! Good detective work — in that I posted twice about them last week…

27. I call my wife’s annual check ups “ladytowns”

It makes her crack up — what can I say?

28. I love, really love, music

No argument here.

29. My cat is not a very good mouser

She prefers the trackball and trackpad.

30. Vegetarian only meals in my house

Yes. I’m sure I’ll post more about this at a future time. I am a vegetarian. My wife is not. My kid pretty much is most of the time. We usually don’t have meat in the house except for those rare times when we do.

31. I volunteered in New Orleans in 2007

In June 2007 I helped lead a group of about 80 high school youth group kids to New Orleans to build homes for Habitat for Humanity for a week. Incredible experience. I have pictures to prove that I actually picked up a hammer.

32. On many occasions I use the phrase “that’s how I roll”

Verbal crutch. Sorry…

33. Being on blog talk radio is fun

Hells yeah it is!

34. I need a haircut

At this writing this is true. My last haircut was in September. I’m growing it out for “Locks of Love” in order to donate it to be made into wigs for kids.  This does not include facial or body hair.

35. My brother’s email sometimes thinks that mine are spam

… and luckily he looks through his SPAM folder every so often.   I guess it’s my fault for disguising a regular email to him as a Nigerian 419 Scam…

36. You have to see my American Idol video to believe it

Ah, yes. I had a feeling this would come up.  It wasn’t one of my brighter moments. I guess, with enough encouragement and coaxing, I’ll post it here.

37. I have stalked people simply because of their license plate

In my defense — it wasn’t just me stalking her. My family members were accomplices.

38. Starbucks is a frequent stop

Actually? Moreso for my wife than for me. I do enjoy a nice, overpriced beverage like the rest of the world. But I’m more of a Caribou Coffee man myself…

39. Bet I could fix your site or computer

Sometimes… Mostly I’ll just advise you to turn it off and then turn it on again.

40. Books have a special place in my life…they can’t be beat

No kidding! Where else would I hide my stash?

41. I am a Taurus as my birthday is April 21st

I am apparently on the proverbial “cusp” between Aries and Taurus. And I feel that the astrological Horoscope system is flawed. More about that in an upcoming post closer to my birthday…

42. Birthdays in my house are eat what you want days

… the exception being for me every few years or so when my birthday falls on Passover. In that case, the food choices are quite limited. But for the rest of the family? Sure.

43. I wrote a script for a movie when I was in the 7th grade

Yup. It was based on the “Sports” album by Huey Lewis and the News. Stop laughing.

44. This year for Thanksgiving I brought a table (and chairs!)

Thanksgiving in my family could be a whole separate blog.  In fact, it has become the beginnings of a cookbook/anthology penned by my Uncle Bill.  Suffice to say that 2007 was the first Thanksgiving for our family where turkey was served since the early 1980s.  I’ll post more about this as well…  The table and chairs had to do with the 30+ people in attendance.

45. I use lactose free milk

The stuff has an expiration date of, like, fifteen weeks from now!

46. Large family gatherings are good for my soul

I suppose so. Since my dad started dating his girlfriend (also widowed around the same time), the family doubled in size. More siblings, more kids, more grandchildren. The fun part about this was finding out that the woman your dad is dating is the mother of the girl you dated in college a decade earlier. Weirdness…

47. My son is musically gifted and I am grateful

He could carry a tune a bit better, but he loves music. And his guitar. And drums. And harmonica. What really impresses me is that he has grown quite fond of the Beatles, the Beastie Boys and the Foo Fighters.  Right now he’s going through and Elton John phase, but hopefully he’ll get over that.

48. I ate Ringo

… and he was tasty!

49. Alison Stewart makes my palms sweat

Honey — those aren’t my palms….

And finally, # 50…having someone else do my list of 50 was not one of my brightest ideas.

Au Contraire!  Any time I can get someone to do my work for me I consider it a bright idea.

Thanks again, Ms. Narf.  You rock.