List on the 3s: Top 7 Reasons that Shiny is Awesome

“List on the 3s” is back after a short hiatus! Here’s the scoop: If there’s a calendar date with a 3 in it, then I provide some sort of list to the wonderful readership of this here blog.  It’s as simple as that.

Today marks a special occasion — an intersection between List on the 3s and another special meme of sorts as created by the lovely Hilly of Snackie’s World. It’s Friday the 13th, but I don’t think that enters into it at all. It’s all about love. Self love.

It’s a question you all have probably wondered in your heads about me:  Hey, Shiny — how do you, you know… get it on with your bad self? What transpires when you decide to become master of your own domain? Can you explain the techniques used when you feel the need for playing continuous games of proverbial Minesweeper? Well, this being self-love day, I feel that I just might be obligated to tell you. For me, it’s really more about the state of mind than anything else. The stimuli around need not be overtly pornographic in nature — in fact, I feel more grooved by something more imaginative than the cookie-cutter images and sounds which the adult entertainment industry has had to offer as of late. It all begins with a heightened sense of awareness. Perhaps focusing on the sweet, sweet scent of spring outside an open window after a rainstorm. Or even the cool breeze of the air conditioning as it sweeps by my uncovered neck. Just calmly and carefully closing my eyes, focusing on the subtle yet sensual caress of my receptors. It’s at that point that I begin to run my own fingertips over my arms, my neck, perhaps even my earlobes — concentrating on the way my breathing has suddenly become deeper in response. It’s only then that I recline slowly, making sure that my body has full access to itself while I descend into a wonderful mode of relaxation and self-exploration. I then introduce a special massage gel which smells faintly of blueberries and peach cobbler, a gel which slides smoothly all over my shoulders, down my stomach and right to the to

No, it’s not that kind of self-love. To quote the Hilly:

No more “how much do I love thees”… rather ask yourself the question, “how much do I love ME?”  Even if you have someone on this special day, take the time to think about yourself, list your good qualities, have some positive perspective on who you are and treat yourself better than you ever have.  This is a day to pamper yourself, be happy with who you are and declare yourself free from wondering if he went to Jared!

So here’s how it works: I posted my “self-love” banner atop this blog entry. If you click it, you’ll be transported to Self-Love headquarters at Hilly’s blog — where you can find others who have declared this wonderful day and their roles in it as an overused cliche from a Divinyls song.  The participants declare something wonderful about themselves — and then open the comments section to guests who also want to join in the fun and declare what they like about the person celebrating the day.

But hey — it’s not called “One thing on the 3s!” There has to be a list involved! Thus — I’m breaking protocol and telling you a few more things about me of which I simply can’t get enough.

Top 7 Reasons Shiny Thinks Shiny is Awesome

7. Before there was Google Maps or MapQuest, there was Shiny. Especially in the DC area — I could (still can!) give you directions to almost anywhere. I know the main interstate highways in the USA.  I can rattle off each of the New Jersey Turnpike exits. I just process directions in a hyper-kickass way.

6. Chances are I can fix your computer and/or network connection. People have always seemed to gravitate to me for all things technical. It began in school when I was one of the few kids who knew how to properly hook up one of the VCRs to a TV on one of those big audio-visual carts. From there, it was only a matter of time before I carried around my own ProDOS floppy disk to help people with their Apple ][ computer programs.  I learned UNIX in college — it was a prerequisite in 1990 to get email.  And I can subnet without a reference sheet.

5. I’m good at moving very heavy things. This comes from being a pretty big guy who, although not in the best tip-top shape, can certainly put his weight behind an object and make it go.

4. I’m a great singer. I wouldn’t say that I’m the next American Idol or anything. (Well, perhaps I could be the next Taylor Hicks. But that still might be setting the bar too low.) I’ve been the lead in a few musicals in my time. I’ve served as a hired cantor for the Jewish High Holidays in two different countries.  I would say that my voice is my best instrument. An instrument I play ever-so-gingerly.

3. I can install WordPress blogs from scratch. This is a recent expertise — but one I’m proud of nonetheless. If you have webspace, a MySQL database and FTP access — I can get the latest version of WordPress up and running in no time.  I’m sure that’s probably a marketable skill somewhere…

2. I have awesome hair. Fun story: My hair used to be straight and a whole lot lighter. When I was 12 or so, my hair started to get darker and wavy/curly almost overnight. People at school asked me if I had gotten a perm — something really fun to get asked when you’re a self-conscious, hormonal pre-teen trying to cope with physical changes to his body. But you know what? The hair has been pretty wonderful. Ive grown it long a few times in my life — most recently getting it cut for Locks of Love this past September.  At this writing my hair is still intact and mostly black. Not bad for a guy in his late 30s…

1.  I’m a damn good satirist. Don’t believe me? Look at my recent Plagiarism Week ’09 entries.  Go back to my old blog and see my retrospective of the twenty-year anniversary of my blog I celebrated in 2005.

So — that’s how utterly uber-cool I am. Now it’s your turn! Show the love!