List on the 3s: Shiny’s Top 6 Favorite Obscure Jewish Holidays

“List on the 3s” is where I pick a date which happens to have a 3 in it and create a list of some sort. If you have any ideas for upcoming lists, please let me know. I’m really scraping the bottom of the barrel here…

This evening* was the end of the Jewish holiday of Simchat Torah, one of my favorite holidays.  It’s not extremely obscure — especially on college campuses — because it’s a very joyous holiday which, for some, has become a great excuse for excessive drinking. You see, we Jews read a portion of the Torah (first five books of Hebrew scripture) on a weekly basis throughout the year, doing so from a very long scroll wrapped around two pillars, one on each end.  Simchat Torah is when we read the very last portion of the Torah and then rewind all the way to the beginning again.  And because we finish the entire scroll, it’s a perfect excuse for a party. I had a lot of fun this holiday — even though I didn’t touch a drop of alcohol. I assume others took care of that facet of the holiday for me.

The day before Simchat Torah is another holiday called Shmini Atzeret. There isn’t nearly as much of a drinking component to Shmini Atzeret, so it’s less well-known among alcoholic communities.  The literal translation of the holiday is “eighth (day) of gathering.”  You see, it immediately follows a seven day holiday called Sukkot where Jews build these hut-type things in their yards and eat in them (and sometimes sleep in them). And, as prescribed Biblically, there’s this eighth day holiday that you’re supposed to observe seperately from the other seven. But it’s still a holiday in its own right. Oh – and you pray for rain because now begins the agriculturally rainy season in Israel.

It’s really, really, really not very well-known. Kids don’t learn songs about Shmini Atzeret in Hebrew school because there aren’t any.  But it’s important enough that the City of New York suspends alternate side of the street parking rules on it.  Suck on it, Hannukah;  New York City is business as usual on your festival of lights. Ha!

The thing is — Judaism lumps a lot of its holidays right up front in the first month (which usually falls around September/October). And since the most important ones come first, many people get holiday burnout for anything else that comes right after it.  So many of these holidays just slip right under the radar. To be honest, most of the holidays really get ignored — because all the excitement occurs right in the first five minutes of the season! Kind of like NBC’s My Own Worst Enemy. But I digress…

So – here is today’s list. You’re gonna get schooled in Judaism once again. Trivial Judaism that most Jews don’t already know.  I’m sure you’ll find something useful to do with all of this information…

Top 6 Favorite Obscure Jewish Holidays

6. Shmini Atzeret. See above.  New York City does the think with the parking because it’s one of those holidays where, per the Torah, it’s forbidden to work (Numbers 29:35), which includes moving one’s car across the street.  Shmini Atzeret has a bit of an identity crisis — since it’s called the eighth day but is specifically not associated with the other seven days, people try to intentionally separate it from those other seven days by saying that the traditions of the other seven days are expressly prohibited on the eighth day.  But since it’s sort-of-but-not-really the last day of a pilgriage holiday, the Yikzor memorial prayer is recited where people remember their immediate relatives who have died.   And there’s also the prayer for rain.

5. Hoshana Rabba - this holiday actually happens the day before Shimini Alzeret. It’s the seventh day of the holiday of Sukkot, but instead of having that ambiguous relationship, it’s allowed the be part of the Sukkot family. All of the rituals of Sukkot apply and then some.

Hoshana Rabba is what happens when you’ve got a very important take-home exam that will make or break your grade and you have the balls to ask the teacher for an eleven day extension on it. Yes, Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) which is thought to be the holiest day of the Jewish calendar appears a week and a half earlier — and is supposed to be that yearly judgement day.  Hoshana Rabba is us pleading to God to save us even further. It’s a late development in Judaism (there is no reference to it in the Torah itself) but there are a lot of added prayers and rituals which take place — one of which is to take a willow branch and totally bang it on any hard surface so all of the leaves come off.  It really makes a hell of a mess. Fortunately, vaccuuming is not prohibited on Hoshana Rabba. (But it is prohibited on Shmini Atzeret.)

4. Fast of Gedaliah. About 2600 years ago the Judean kingdom was overthrown by Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylonia. Jerusalem and the Jewish temple were destroyed. Nebuchadnezzar appointed a Judean guy named Gedaliah to serve as a governor for that area.  He was in the midst of getting things built back up again until, as part of a power-play, he was assasinated by one of his own.  The anniversary of his death is commemorated as the Fast of Gedaliah, a day where one does not eat or drink from sunrise to sundown.

The thing is — this day happens to be immediately after Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. And it pales in comparison. Besides — there’s a fast day only one week later and it happens to be on — oh, I don’t know, the most important day of the Jewish calendar? If you have front row seats to see The Who and The Rolling Stones within two weeks of each other, are you really going to waste your time seeing Chumbawumba in concert between them?

3. Lag b’Omer. I covered this a bit in this blog entry back in May; it’s the thirty-third day of the 49 day period between the holidays of Passover and Shavuot. These forty-nine days are often thought of as a time of mourning; it is said that after the destruction of the second Temple in Jerusalem many scholars and students were killed throughout this seven week period of time.

Except for the thirty-third day when, apparently, nobody died. Hells yeah! Let’s make a holiday out of it!  Since it’s traditional to let one’s hair grow during times of mourning, Lag b’Omer often turns into a day of mass haircuts.  In fact, some in the more traditional communities will refrain from giving their boys a haircut until age three. Well — if those boys happen to have a birthday which falls within the first 32 days of this period of time, they can’t get their haircuts.  So — a big party is held on day #33 and lots of little kids who look like miniature versions of Robert Plant get haircuts.  Kind of scary, actually…

Oh! And because of a military stronghold victory commemorated on that day, kids are encouraged to play with bows and arrows. Near campfires.  W00t!

2. Tu b’Av. This one means “the fifteenth day of the month of Av.” It’s an extremely minor holiday because (a) it falls during the summer when kids aren’t attending Hebrew school and thus not learning about it; (b) there aren’t any fun, family-friendly activities and (c) in modern times it’s recognized by the omission of a daily prayer that’s omitted  for pretty much a third of the year anyway.

I like to call it the “sporting wood” holiday. That’s because it was the holiday that commemorated the wood offering sacrifice at the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. The sporting wood reference probably has nothing to do with the ancient custom of, on this day, all the unmarried women dressing up in white clothes to sing and dance in the vineyards surrounding Jerusalem. (I simply can’t make this stuff up. Wikipedia can back me up on this.)

So — yay for wood!

1. Asarah b’Tevet. This is a holiday which literally means the tenth day of the month of Tevet. It’s the anniversary of the day 2600 or so years ago that the city of Jerusalem was besieged by the Babylonians, thus resulting in the fall of Judea.  It’s a minor fast day. (No food or drink from sunrise to sundown.)

Asarah b’Tevet usually falls in the winter season. This year it will be January; in past years it’s been in mid-December.

Why is this number one on my list? You’ll see as the time gets closer. If you can’t wait that long, you can read this blog post from 2005. And yes — I’ll be sure to continue the campaign to make this season the Asarah b’Tevet-ist season of ‘em all. You just watch…

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* Per my denomination of Judaism, today was the end of the holiday. Those who practice Judaism in Israel and those who subscribe to a denomination which follows practicing the schedule of holidays as they do in Israel ended the holiday on Tuesday evening instead.