Dear Captain Awesome:
I still smile at the nickname I gave you, my brother, when I decided to create a blog name for you that would be quite funny. It’s not that I don’t think that you’re awesome; it’s not even that you don’t think you’re awesome. It’s that you simply wouldn’t be the type of person who would go around self-declaring as “Captain Awesome: Hero charged with spreading awesomeness and curtailing all that is sub-awesome.” The blog never took off, but the nickname stuck. (I should mention that this nickname was in place way, way before it was co-opted to the future brother-in-law on NBC’s “Chuck.”)
Anyway — you’ve been my big brother for a good 36 and a half years now. That’s not an easy feat; you’re the only one who’s been able to do it. And you’ve stuck with it for quite some time, even though I certainly didn’t make it easy on you. (Apparently I was a biter.) But you were my trusty companion through thick and thin as we were growing up. I remember when you taught me the Periodic Table of the Elements by heart as per Tom Lehrer. I recall the exquisite game we used to play in our family room which involved soccer-like rules but was played with a 70s style sofa and wood paneling as goalposts. And I remember when you misled me, getting me to listen to “Good Lovin'” by the Young Rascals for the first time by telling me that it was a song by the Meat Puppets.
And although our bond as brothers never ended, I’m writing to recognize the wonderful happenings exactly fifteen years ago today when you got married to a wonderful person whom I shall creatively nickname Captain Outstanding. (This usually raises some questions from friends of mine who often wonder if captains can get married to each other. The answer? Yes.)
I first met Captain Outstanding when she happened to be visiting the DC area on a field trip from the summer camp where you were both working. Maybe I had met her before for a fleeting moment, but this was the first time we really talked. I was impressed that we got along so well after only a few hours! From that point forward it was really nice to see the both of you whenever I could, and I was overjoyed at your announcement that you two were getting married.
And the wedding itself! Wow — quite wonderful. You made me your best man — a role so memorable and exquisite for me for which I appreciate you. (So much so, in fact, that I decided to pass you over at my wedding and make you neither a best man nor a groomsman.) It was a beautiful ceremony, and I appreciated that you let me sing at it as well. And, of course, it was also quite memorable the way that I was able to meet Captain Outstanding’s sister for the first time! (I was running around the hotel in a crazy frenzy — and found myself apologizing to a complete stranger in the elevator who was, in fact, sister to the Captain.) It’s great that you have a two-volume video chronicling the event; I’m waiting to see if you do a special edition remastered DVD with outtakes as an anniversary commemoration.
I’m not sure if you were aware of this at the time, but your wedding came right after a pretty bad breakup for me. And the wedding, at the time, was just what I needed, or so I believed. Because it gave me a grand opportunity to flirt heavily with many of the guests in attendance who were (a) unrelated to me and (b) under 50. I needed a self-esteem bost and I was granted with an opportunity to have a great time.
Fifteen years later you, my two favorite captains (behind, of course, celebrity captains Picard and Crunch) have a wonderful and vibrant home with three awesome and outstanding children. For me, it’s never a feeling of obligation to get together with you guys because you’re family. It’s more than that. We get along extremely well. We enjoy hanging out together. True — we’re a few hours apart and very busy which makes this not happen very often. But when it does? It often feels that all is right in the world.
So — congratulations on a wonderful fifteen years. I hope you have the opportunity to celebrate it well. And I wish, with 100% of my heart and soul, the best to my sister-in-law, Captain Outstanding. And I wish you well, Captain Awesome, with 99.46% of my heart and soul as well. Because I still think you were a bit of an ass about the whole Meat Puppets disinformation tactic.
Love to you and the family,
— Shiny
Related Articles
3 users responded in this post
Awww, congratulations to them both. 🙂
Hillys last blog post..Snackie Sunday Retro Revival: Oz
This is so cool of you, Shiny. Fifteen years! That’s awesome AND outstanding. My congratulations to the Captain Squared.
(Thank you, in retrospect, for not calling Mrs. Captain “Tenille.”)
There is something extraordinary in the bonds of siblinghood that can never be replicated… At least, when it’s done properly. Apparently, Meat Puppets Incident aside, your fraternal unit did a great job.
Sandis last blog post..Right at the tip of our toes
what a way cool post. loved it.
p.s. i cracked up at the picard & crunch comment. made me wonder what you have against my boyfriend kirk, but i still loved it nonetheless.
hello haha narfs last blog post..It’s Raining Babies
Leave A Reply