Because I’m incredibly unoriginal, I’m stealing this meme from Avitable among others: I’m going to post Entertainment Weekly’s Top 100 movies of the past 25 years and boldface the ones I’ve seen.
However, since I’m slightly original and kind of a douche, I’m going to add a twist: next to each of the movies I’ve seen, I’m going to reveal the ending for everyone who hasn’t seen ’em. That way you don’t have to rent any of these! You’re welcome…
1. Pulp Fiction (1994) – Jules lets them rob the restaurant, but makes them give back his wallet.
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)
3. Titanic (1997) – it sinks.
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995) – Buzz and Woody make it to Andy’s new house in one piece, and then Andy gets a puppy.
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991) – They catch Buffalo Bill, but Hannibal Lechter escapes and starts eating people again.
9. Die Hard (1988) – John McLean and Holly get back together, and Holly punches the reporter dude in the face.
10. Moulin Rouge (2001) – Satine dies after declaring her love, and the Ewan MacGreggor dude writes a book about it.
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984) – The band gets back together and does a tour in Japan.
12. The Matrix (1999) – Neo can stop bullets and the Agent Smith bad guys.
13. GoodFellas (1990) – Henry Hill testifies against the mob and goes into witness protection.
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
16. Boogie Nights (1997) – Dirk Diggler shows us his anaconda-sized penis.
17. Jerry Maguire (1996) – The “Show me the money!” football guy is shown the money. Jerry and Dorothy and the cute glasses kid live happily ever after.
18. Do the Right Thing (1989) – Mookie throws a trash can through the plate-glass window of the pizzeria.
19. Casino Royale (2006) – “Bond. James Bond.” And then he caps the guy’s ass.
20. The Lion King (1994) – “It’s the ciiiiiiiircle of liiiiiife….”
21. Schindler’s List (1993) – He saves those on the list from death. They are grateful.
22. Rushmore (1998) – Dude — this movie was so messed up that I can’t remember what happened. Something about directing a play…
23. Memento (2001) – Teddy has been using Leonard to kill durg dealers, and Leonard eventually kills Teddy.
24. A Room With a View (1986)
25. Shrek (2001) – He kisses the princess and she turns into Shrekette!
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986) – Ripley kills the alien queen. Or does she…
28. Wings of Desire (1988)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004) – “He said I look tired! He must have been watching me through this window all along! Gadzooks!”
30. When Harry Met Sally… (1989) – They finally hook up and get married.
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999) – Tyler Durden is Jack’s Id! And they blow up all the credit card companies.
33. The Breakfast Club (1985) – High school students of different peer groups smoke weed and open up to each other.
34. Fargo (1996) – Marge shoots or arrests everyone in sight.
35. The Incredibles (2004) – The baby is a total super-spazz.
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004) – Look, Mary-Jane! Peter Parker is Spider-Man! And Harry Osborne is totally pissed…
37. Pretty Woman (1990) – Richard Gere realizes he’s in love with the hooker.
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) – They get their memories erased and give it a second chance.
39. The Sixth Sense (1999) – Look! Bruce Willis was dead all along!
40. Speed (1994) – They get everyone off the bus before it explodes. Dennis Hopper gets his head chopped off on top of a subway. Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock make out on the street.
41. Dazed and Confused (1993) – They all decide to camp out for Aerosmith tickets.
42. Clueless (1995) – Cher falls in love with her stepbrother.
43. Gladiator (2000)
44. The Player (1992) – The movie-in-a-movie has a happy ending. This is Hollywood, after all…
45. Rain Man (1988) – Charlie drops Raymond back off at the home in time for him to watch Wapner.
46. Children of Men (2006) – It’s a baby! And it gets picked up by the Human Project ship!
47. Men in Black (1997) – The galaxy is just a friggin’ marble in a friggin’ game of marbles!
48. Scarface (1983)
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
50. The Piano (1993)
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988) – OJ Simpson gets pushed down the stairs. (See? A happy ending…)
53. The Truman Show (1998) – Truman leaves the stage.
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)
55. Risky Business (1983) – Joel buys back all of his parents’ stuff and gets into Princeton
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)
58. Ghostbusters (1984) – They obliterate Gozer — and the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man.
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996)
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984) – Axel Foley kills Victor Maitland and steals terry cloth robes from the Beverly Hills Hilton.
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)
63. Big (1988) – He turns into a 13 year-old boy again.
64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987) – Nobody put Baby in a corner anytime soon, I’ll tell you that…
66. Natural Born Killers (1994) – Micky and Mallory videotape themselves shooting Robert Downey Jr. with a really annoying Australian accent.
67. Donnie Brasco (1997) – Donnie snitches on Lefty. “Fugettaboutit.”
68. Witness (1985)
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987) – seven years later, they all have jobs.
71. Unforgiven (1992)
72. Thelma & Louise (1991) – they drive the car into the Grand Canyon.
73. Office Space (1999) – The place burns down, but not before Milton scurries off with all the money.
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006) – Matt Damon kills Leonardo DiCaprio. Mark Wahlberg kills Matt Damon.
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) – They lower the Terminator and the computer chip into the fire to be destroyed forever.
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996) – Guffman never shows!
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
81. Moonstruck (1987)
82. Lost in Translation (2003) – They kiss and go their separate ways.
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004) – Maya read Miles’s novel — and loved it!
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005) – He loses his virginity.
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
87. Swingers (1996) – Mikey finally gets over her — right when she calls him to get back together.
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) – Austin and Ms. Kensington get married.
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004) – Everyone votes for Pedro.
91. Back to the Future (1985) – “Your kids, Marty! Something has to be done about your kids!”
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) – The Talented Mr. Ripley kills everyone and gets away with it.
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999) – They all die.
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999) – Everybody learns to welcome Canadians and Satan. And Kenny goes to heaven.
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9 users responded in this post
I love that you added the endings and had to be original. This is what I most admire about you!
Lisas last blog post..Over the Tracks
I love that you are ruining movies for everyone but me.
#39: hehehehehe!!
Poppys last blog post..guess what?!
Mmmm, douchebaggery.
“Normally, both of your sorry asses would be deader than fucking fried chicken by now, but you happened to pull this shit while I’m in a transitional period, so I don’t wanna kill you.”
Hillys last blog post..Jinkies, Where Are My Glasses?
Spoilers never spoil anything for me. And Satan and Saddam rule! That’s the funniest part of any movie ever!
Winters last blog post..Old Is New Again
What do you mean Titanic sinks. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
does that mean that it’s true……OMG– They were real people.
(I should mention – I never saw Titanic, but one of my friends, didn’t know it was a real ship that sank, yes really…I have really dumb friends)
libragirl/Rachels last blog post..If it rains
You are a douche, but a funny douche. Good thing most of us have seen most of these movies.
And now, because I am totally a bigger bastard than you are, I will tell YOU the endings of all the movies on this list you HAVEN’T seen so they will be ruined! BWAH HA HA HAAAAHHH!
But now that I take a look at the movies you haven’t seen… I feel you’ve been punished enough. The Lord of the Rings trilogy? Blue Velvet? Saving Private Ryan? Edward Scissorhands? Gladiator? Scarface? Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon? L.A. Confidential? Scream? sex, lies and videotape? Witness? Unforgiven? Drugstore Cowboy? Sid and Nancy? Michael Clayton? Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn? Y Tu Mamá También? Ed Wood? All of these are great flicks, and your life is incomplete for not having seen them. How can I hurt you any more than that?
Dave2s last blog post..Beheaded
Great twist on the meme!
Avitables last blog post..I must be premenstrual
Shiny
too funny!!!
Charlene in Arkansass last blog post..A FUCKING GOAT~~~FOR real!
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