Blog Reader Appreciation Week: Cock-Blocked by Meredith Baxter Birney

Thank you all for making this a very successful blog for me. If not for you, the reading community, I wouldn’t have people begging me such things as “Oh! Tell us that story about how you were once cock-blocked by Meredith Baxter Birney!”  This is for all of you — as a way to show my appreciation.

First — a bit of clarification: the story takes place in 1989.  This was the year of her divorce from fellow actor David Birney. Thus — I’m not certain if this story is technically about “eredith Baxter Birney” or “Meredith Baxter” who did the blocking. For the purpose of this story, I’m simply going to refer to her as Meredith.

It was the Fall of 1989. I was a senior in high school — concerned with the trials and tribulations that high school boys had at that time. Most of which had something to do with wanting to hook up with girls.  Come to think of it, that wasn’t really something which was unique to my senior year of high school after all…

But anyway — it was a special weekend. I was attending a regional convention for the Jewish youth group with which I was involved at the time.  It was a weekend convention which began on Friday morning with a bus ride from the DC area down to Virginia Beach — where we spent the weekend in a hotel which would accommodate the almost 270 high school students and adult volunteers.  Attendees came from all over Maryland, Virginia and Washington, DC.

There were some ground-rules for the convention: sleeping floors were segregated by gender, and it was made clear that girls and boys were not allowed to be on each other’s floors. (We had enough of the hotel that we had entire sleeping floors devoted to us.) Each room had 3-4 kids in it; it was something we had been used to for a while.  As it turned out, I was in a room with some great guys — who happened to see my shyness and take me on as a personal project.  I couldn’t have been more thrilled.

Sure — there was a curfew. And there were rules.  But after the chaperoning staff were tired and back in their rooms, my roommate made a couple of calls. A few minutes later, we were the party room — as several girls our age came on down — you know, just to talk, of course.  One of them was this lovely girl named Michelle.*

Michelle was really cute. Very wide-eyed and passionate. She had just dyed her hair red, which looked great on her.  And she had just broken up with her boyfriend and was looking for some comfort.  And she felt like talking with me. What amazing luck!  We talked for a bit in the room, and then moved out to the hallway where it was quieter.

And it was wonderful, just sitting there, propped against the wall, talking with one another. I would say something funny and she would laugh. Great sign! Eventually we got to the point where she put her head on my shoulder — another sign that things were going well! It was possibly the best time I had experienced so far past 1 in the morning.

The stakes were heightened a bit when we lulled into silence for a good twenty-five minutes.  “What’s up?” I asked her. She just smiled, looked into my eyes, and said “Nothing.” And she didn’t break the eye contact. Wow! I knew what this meant. Or at least I thought I did? We were just silent, staring at each other. I wasn’t sure if I should just lean in and kiss her. I mean, she just broke up with her boyfriend! Would that be a bad move on my part? What if she didn’t want to kiss me?

So I hesitated — just for a few seconds. And I realized, at that moment, it was now or never. And I psyched myself up. This would be the right time to kiss her. I’d just wait for her to lean into me just a little. That would give me more confidence that I was doing the right thing.

And she did! Her head turned towards me. I slowly moved my he…

“Oh! Whoops! Didn’t mean to interrupt!”

And with an embarrassed smile, walking quickly past us, was this woman:

At first I wondered for a split-second — was that really her? We knew that the hotel was having a fundraiser for some cause as well, something like breast cancer or diabetes research.  There had been rumors that this beautiful TV mom was guest-hosting.  And, I guess, our floor had at least one room that didn’t belong to our convention.

And a split-second later — I realized that I should be focused on the kiss with Michelle, And that I should hope and pray that this didn’t throw it off-kilter.

But no. Michelle’s beautiful eyes opened even wider. She squealed for a second and said “Oh my GOD! Was that Meredith Baxter Birney?” And then she got up to tell all of her friends who were still hanging out in my room.  I didn’t even get that kiss! I had waited too long — and the moment was gone.

I saw Michelle over that next year a few times, but we never really had any deep conversations after that night. Who knows what would have happened? Perhaps we would have made a beautiful connection. Or, dare I say it, some wonderful Family Ties.  (*groan*)

But it didn’t happen. All because Meredith chose that moment to return to her room, cock-blocking me in the process.

But if I had to be cock-blocked by any celebrity, I’m happy it was her. At 60 years old, she’s still absolutely beautiful. She continues her work for breast cancer research. She still acts occasionally. And she’ll always be Elyse Keaton to me, making me perpectually jealous of Steven Keaton.  (I suppose this is as good a time as any to reveal this fun fact: Meredith Baxter and Michael Gross, the actors portraying the Keaton parents,  were born on exactly the same day.

Thank you, Meredith. For the best cock-block of my life.

EDIT: I just researched this a bit more — and have discovered that their birthday is today, June 21!  They both turned 61 today.  How fitting that this post was posted today! I wish I could say that I planned it for this very reason, but I really had no clue.

* No. Not that Michelle.