“List on the 3s:” Top 9 Songs I Never Intended To Like But I Do Anyway

“List on the 3s” is my meme for which I create a list on any date that has a number three in it. “Meme” is derived from a French word, mème (pronounced “moouuuuurrrrjjjjmmmeeewaaa”) which means “something to fill space on a blog without thinking about it too carefully before you’ve already committed.” Enjoy the show…

Some would call them “guilty pleasure” songs. You know what I’m talking about — those pop songs that stay popular even though the critics pan them as stupid and unmeaningful. I am a music snob: I’m one of those folks who only liked “Hootie and the Blowfish” because nobody had every heard of them. And I continued to like them until everybody started to hear of them. And then I started saying some really obnoxious things, like “well, they really sold out.” Which was really a way of saying “I honestly thought they were good until I listened to one of their songs. Now? Not so much.”

But there are some songs that, if people knew I actually liked them, it would lower my music cred significantly. In fact, some of you are probably in that category. To you I plead: don’t read any further if you want to retain any respect for me. This could get very ugly.

Are the cool, music hipster snobs gone? Good. Let’s present:

Top 9 Songs Shiny Never Intended To Like But He Does Anyway

9. Snow – Informer

Direct YouTube Link

(The video above is Jim Carrey on “In Living Color.” Back when he didn’t make that many creative decisions for himself…)

I didn’t want to like this song because the guy was white and from Toronto. There you go — I’m racist. And xenophobic. A licky boom-boom down.

This is just a fun song. And one where you would have to try to determine what exactly the lyrics were. What could possibly go wrong?

8. Soulsister – The Way To Your Heart

Direct link To imeem

This is one of those songs you don’t think you know until you hear the chorus. It’s kind of a dumb one, but it triggers some happy memories. Of a girl. Named Michelle. She’s one of the main characters in that story I haven’t yet told on this blog about how I got cock-blocked by Meredith Baxter-Birney…

7. Nelson – Love and Affection

Direct YouTube Link

Nelson was the punchline of rock radio when I was graduating high school. Who knew that I’d like the harmonies and acoustic feel of “Love and Affection?”

The thing that still creeps me out about this video (after the fact) is that the brothers Nelson remind me of Jake Busey’s Fundamentalist terrorist character in “Contact.” Yeesh…

6. EMF – Unbelievable

Direct YouTube Link

When this came out, I was really into my alternative / college radio snobbery incarnation. I think the only reason I listened to this is because the name of the album, Schubert Dip, sounded kind of clever.

Since then I’ve bought a CD full of remixes of this very song. And the one mashup I’ve started (and not yet finished) includes this song.

Fact which makes me cringe a bit because I like this song: Yes. That is Andrew Dice Clay who is sampled for the “Ohhh!” and the “it’s unbelievable.”

Fract which makes me cringe a whole lot more: The band sold rights to their song in 2005 to Kraft — advertising some of its cheese as “crumbeleivable.” Ew.

5. The Escape Club – Wild Wild West

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Direct YouTube Link

Umani’s in the backroom handing out Valium;
Sheriff’s on the airwaves talking to the D.J.’s.
Forty-seven heartbeats beating like a drum —
got to live it up! Live it up!
Ronnie’s got a new gun…

How can you not like this song, people?

Well, I didn’t want to. Because I felt that any song which was (a) self-referring (see my list about songs that should not be covered) and (b) mentioned “safe sex” so it could be cool with the teens was a bit cheesy.

What I didn’t know then was that I live for cheesy! Long live the Escape Club…

4. Boz Scaggs – Lido Shuffle

Direct YouTube Link

This will show you how shallow I am:

I didn’t want to like this song because I didn’t want to admit to liking something performed by a guy named “Boz.”

I mean, not like “Scaggs” is any better, but still…

This is a great song to sing in the shower. Just a great “Whoa-oh-oh-ohhhhhhhh” potential.

3. *NSYNC – Bye Bye Bye

Direct YouTube Link

I’ve always had a soft-spot in my heart for *NSYNC. They were popular when I had my very, very short stint DJing and discovering mashups (although I didn’t know that’s what they were called at the time) and obscure remixes I would download. There was one which inserted that hot-at-the-time “Goodbye” recognized by kids everywhere as the AOL voice. I was a star!

I also saw the “Making the Video” special on MTV for this song (link here; embedding has been disabled upon request). It really isn’t bad! And, of course, socKs and I actually went to an *NSYNC concert, chaperoning about a dozen kids. (To our credit, we didn’t pay for our tickets. And they were quite good seats.)

Ten years later — who would have guessed that Joey Fatone would be such a celebrity?

2. Pseudo Echo – Funkytown

Direct YouTube Link

I fully acknowledge that there’s something wrong with me for liking this.

Let’s trace our steps back to the mid-to-late 1980s. I spent four years in a local theater camp between the ages of 13 and 16. We put on a musical theater performance every year which involved pretty strenuous choreography. (I had the lead the last summer — and had private tap lessons to bring me up to speed for some of the softshoe work I had to do.) So — this meant a lot of dance practice. For some reason, our choreographer really liked the original Lipps Inc. version of Funkytown. I didn’t. When this version came out, I saw it as a rockin’ rebellious version of that song. Because that was me! Rockin’ and rebellious!

I dare you to watch the video in full and not tell me that it doesn’t just scream 1986…

1. Styx – Mr. Roboto

Direct YouTube Link

This takes me back to what was a relatively painful summer for me. It was 1983 and I was attending my third summer at this camp in Massachusetts. I was the chubby kid who everyone was poking fun at that summer, so it was miserable for me. I also didn’t know how to react socially in certain situations, so that made things even worse.

This song, however, wasn’t part of the problem. It was played by Jay, my counselor at the time, almost non-stop. He had the cassette insert to the “Kilroy Was Here” album which we used to read out loud to each other because it was a sci-fi story in 200 words or less. And it was a concept album, which meant we could all be music snobs between the bouts of the other kids making fun of me.

The song has turned the corner for many being “so bad it’s good.” But for me, this has always been a cheesy song which, I may be embarrassed to say, I’ve always liked. I even bought the 45 to this upon returning from camp. Now that’s dedication.