Meme-O-Rama!

I was “tagged” by the lovely Turnbaby today. Yes. that Turnbaby. The one whose BlogTalkRadio show, Turnbaby Talks, will be on tomorrow (Sunday) night at 8pm EDT. I advise you to log in and wait at your computers for 20 hours until it comes on.

This is a meme. I know I promised myself I would mostly stay away from them, but hey — perhaps a slight amount of memery isn’t so bad, is it? she got it from Sanni-Licious who got it from… well, click and find out yourselves.

If I were a direction I’d be… “If you’ve reached the 7-Eleven, you’ve gone too far.”

If I were furniture I’d be… an Ikea entertainment system.

If I were a liquid I’d be… Green Tea Frappucino. No whipped cream.

If I were a sin I’d be… gluttony. Sweet, sweet gluttony…

If I were a gem/stone I’d be… cubic zirconium.

If I were a metal I’d be… sodium.

If I were a tree I’d be… one of those mock cell-phone tower trees.

If I were a fruit I’d be… ripe.

If I were a flower I’d be… thorny.

If I were weather I’d be… sleet.

If I were a music instrument I’d be… a harpsichord.

If I were an element I’d be… seaborgium.

If I were a colour I’d be… #5F9EA0.

If I were an animal I’d be… I am an animal. But if I were a different one? a new world monkey.

If I were a sound I’d be… a quiet, country road. First thing in the morning. With the sound of a truck barely audible at a great distance in the background.

If I were a lyric I’d be… Cold is cold / Brother when you make a stand / If you don’t like your cards / Draw another hand. (I’ll be quite impressed if anyone else gets this one…)

If I were a song I’d be: Watching the Detectives – Elvis Costello and the Attractions

If I were a music type I’d be… alternative rock. Not the mass-marketed bullshit that became corporate “rock alternative” in the mid-1990s. No. We’re talking about the stuff that makes PJ Harvey sound like Gloria Estefan.

If I were a perfume/cologne I’d be… expensive. And scarce. And highly effective.

If I were a feeling I’d be… fear of getting caught.

If I were a book I’d be… Night of the Avenging Blowfish – John Welter

If I were food I’d be… Fettucine Alfredo.

If I were a city I’d be… Chapel Hill, NC.

If I were a taste I’d be… Spicy.

If I were a scent I’d be… smelly.

If I were a word I’d be… phagocytosis.

If I were a verb I’d be… predicating.

If I were an object I’d be… Again, I am an object. And I like it that way…

If I were a piece of clothing I’d be… Natalie Portman’s undergarments. There. I said it.

If I were a body part I’d be… a pelvis.

If I were an facial expression I’d be… wide expression of surprise

If I were a cartoon character I’d be… Bender from “Futurama.”

If I were a movie I’d be… This is Spinal Tap.

If I were a geometrical figure I’d be… a Star of Lakshimi.

If I were one of the 4 seasons I’d be… Frankie Valli. No question.

If I were a sentence I’d be… Life without the possibility of parole.

And now — for no particular reason relating to this post — a video of today’s festivities. Av is the little guy in the red hoodie running around with a small Buzz Lightyear kite. I’m the shmoe with the rainbow kite and the unseasonal, goofy looking cream-colored cargo pants. Enjoy!