I was “tagged” by the lovely Turnbaby today. Yes. that Turnbaby. The one whose BlogTalkRadio show, Turnbaby Talks, will be on tomorrow (Sunday) night at 8pm EDT. I advise you to log in and wait at your computers for 20 hours until it comes on.
This is a meme. I know I promised myself I would mostly stay away from them, but hey — perhaps a slight amount of memery isn’t so bad, is it? she got it from Sanni-Licious who got it from… well, click and find out yourselves.
If I were a direction I’d be… “If you’ve reached the 7-Eleven, you’ve gone too far.”
If I were furniture I’d be… an Ikea entertainment system.
If I were a liquid I’d be… Green Tea Frappucino. No whipped cream.
If I were a sin I’d be… gluttony. Sweet, sweet gluttony…
If I were a gem/stone I’d be… cubic zirconium.
If I were a metal I’d be… sodium.
If I were a tree I’d be… one of those mock cell-phone tower trees.
If I were a fruit I’d be… ripe.
If I were a flower I’d be… thorny.
If I were weather I’d be… sleet.
If I were a music instrument I’d be… a harpsichord.
If I were an element I’d be… seaborgium.
If I were a colour I’d be… #5F9EA0.
If I were an animal I’d be… I am an animal. But if I were a different one? a new world monkey.
If I were a sound I’d be… a quiet, country road. First thing in the morning. With the sound of a truck barely audible at a great distance in the background.
If I were a lyric I’d be… Cold is cold / Brother when you make a stand / If you don’t like your cards / Draw another hand. (I’ll be quite impressed if anyone else gets this one…)
If I were a song I’d be: Watching the Detectives – Elvis Costello and the Attractions
If I were a music type I’d be… alternative rock. Not the mass-marketed bullshit that became corporate “rock alternative” in the mid-1990s. No. We’re talking about the stuff that makes PJ Harvey sound like Gloria Estefan.
If I were a perfume/cologne I’d be… expensive. And scarce. And highly effective.
If I were a feeling I’d be… fear of getting caught.
If I were a book I’d be… Night of the Avenging Blowfish – John Welter
If I were food I’d be… Fettucine Alfredo.
If I were a city I’d be… Chapel Hill, NC.
If I were a taste I’d be… Spicy.
If I were a scent I’d be… smelly.
If I were a word I’d be… phagocytosis.
If I were a verb I’d be… predicating.
If I were an object I’d be… Again, I am an object. And I like it that way…
If I were a piece of clothing I’d be… Natalie Portman’s undergarments. There. I said it.
If I were a body part I’d be… a pelvis.
If I were an facial expression I’d be… wide expression of surprise
If I were a cartoon character I’d be… Bender from “Futurama.”
If I were a movie I’d be… This is Spinal Tap.
If I were a geometrical figure I’d be… a Star of Lakshimi.
If I were one of the 4 seasons I’d be… Frankie Valli. No question.
If I were a sentence I’d be… Life without the possibility of parole.
And now — for no particular reason relating to this post — a video of today’s festivities. Av is the little guy in the red hoodie running around with a small Buzz Lightyear kite. I’m the shmoe with the rainbow kite and the unseasonal, goofy looking cream-colored cargo pants. Enjoy!
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6 users responded in this post
Oooo I love your ‘sound’ –awesome
And Elvis Costello–niiiice.
Thanks for playing along sugar.
Turnbaby’s last blog post..We’re Talking Quid Pro Quo Babies
Harpsichord. There’s a word you don’t hear every day. You are a dar, dark man my friend. You need to get laid.
Absurdist’s last blog post..The Girly-Girl Answers Revealed
Turn: I decided to throw at least one in there which wasn’t as smart-assed. 🙂 My smart-ass answer would have been “Puget.”
Absurdist: I loves me some harpsichord! Lots of plucking.
And dark? I suppose I should have put up pictures of unicorns on my blog after all…
Dude, you are a sentence without a verb.
othurme’s last blog post..Don’t Hire Me, I’m A Total Fuck Off
I had the hardest time keeping my eyes off that lovely phallus!
I need to do this meme, still…. maybe later today! You can’t wait!
Kyra Sutra’s last blog post..Dear Owen
othurme: Thanks. I that as a compliment.
Kyra: Lovely phallus? In the video? As I told the arresting officer at the time, I was wearing pants the entire afternoon!
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