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Absurdist said in March 19th, 2008 at 6:34 am

Oh dear lord in heaven above, I have no imagination to write such a long letter.

And to be fair, I have no idea what seders is.  I can only imagine that it is your heathenistic jewish ritual of burning a cross with a Xtian on it, after nailing it to the holy "T" and spitting on him/her.  Our lord, god of gods, host of hosts does not deserve such ridicule and shame on this, his week of ascension.  Shame be to thee that celebrateth in the lord’s passing over.  Shame be to thee who rise in the temples like hypocrites, spewing vile and detestable horrors against our host of hosts.

Yea, I pray for thee during these times.  As ye know, ye shall go directly-eth to hell-eth when the coming judgment day arises.  You and all the fucking Jews.

😉

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shiny said in March 19th, 2008 at 8:19 am

Absurdist:  I am appalled at the notion that you buy into these stereotypes of yesteryear.  Please give my people some credit: we’ve graduated to using nailguns and the letter "W" instead.

Oh — and get with the times! We have a co-host of co-hosts now…

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metalmom said in March 19th, 2008 at 9:29 am

Oh My Shit! I am laughing so hard! The letter was great as was the tit for tat between you and Abusrdist! You’re so creative!

Mmmmmm…..unleavened bread….

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shiny said in March 19th, 2008 at 4:18 pm

MetalMom: Thanks! I try. Absurdist succeeds. Or the other way around. Who knows?

As for the unleavened bread — I’m happy to send you a case of leftovers after the holiday if you want it. (I don’t see why you would…)

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Kyra Sutra said in March 19th, 2008 at 7:03 pm

I was wondering if it would get spammed…lol. Try sending it in a certified letter!

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othurme said in March 19th, 2008 at 8:00 pm

Maybe a free penis enlargement would make for a more enticing offer.  I gotta think even Rabbis worry about there short comings on occasion. 

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

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shiny said in March 19th, 2008 at 8:13 pm

Kyra: I love my brother dearly — but I’m quite sure that sending it certified will ensure that it finds its way at the bottom of a pile on his desk, not to be read for months.  I’ll call him on Friday and see if I can walk him through his GMail junk folder…

othurme: May be worth a shot! I noticed that one of your previous entries graphs out Hall & Oates "Every Time You Go Away" as performed by Paul Young.  For Jewish men who, at eight days old, undergo ritual circumcision, that song takes on an entirely new meaning. 🙂

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Winter said in March 20th, 2008 at 1:12 am

I got that email! I swear I did. Well, at least the one you tweaked. Yours is much better. I would so send you the money! LOL

My brother is a converted Jew. I think of him as like converted rice. He cooks quicker now.  And when someone mentions Passover I get a vision in my head from the Ten Commandments of the creeping death and the marks on the doors… and then I hear Metallica’s Creeping Death…

Great post, male Shiny! (to distinguish you from my female Shiny)

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shiny said in March 20th, 2008 at 10:31 pm

Winter: You probably did! I based my email off of an existing one.  And I’ll be sure to send you my address. 😉

I like the analogy of your brother’s convertedness. I suppose that makes me instant, boil-in-a-bag Jewish then. Oh — and Metallica RAWKS!  I like the "Ride The Lightning" era — especially the Call of Ktulu.

I replied to one of She-Shiny’s blog entries; looks like she hadn’t posted anything in a while.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE: By chance my brother looked through his GMail SPAM folder and, sure enough, he found my email!  He wrote back, and now we have a place to go for Passover. Mission accomplished.

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[…] I had mentioned in the comments to my previous entry, Brotherly SPAM, I decided to email my brother, a congregational rabbi, in the format of a Nigerian 419 scam email […]

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