So much for “Luck of the Irish…”

As some of you may already know: I’m not usually a McDonalds person. There are a few reasons for this: I’m a vegetarian, for starters. Although it’s arguable that their hamburgers don’t really contain anything that would really qualify as “meat,” I still tend to stay away. It just isn’t my thing. The notion of a “McSkillet Burrito” doesn’t do wonders for me. I, at no time in my life, have every thought of myself as “zest-tang-spicy.” Of course there’s the me being overweight and trying to eat better thing. And Grimace scares the fuck out of me.

But in a year’s time I’ll usually drink about twelve McDonalds shakes. That’s really not so bad considering what else can happen to a person during a year. However, my regimen all consist of Mickey D’s seasonal “shamrock shakes.” And my tradition is to drink them all consecutively on the evening of St. Patrick’s Day without a break. Then I can get on with my life.

Seriously — I don’t know what it is. I suppose I could get some cheap-o mint chocolate chip ice cream and remove the chips. (Hell, the chips probably make it taste better.) But it’s the symbol of the shamrock shake. For me, I think, it’s the green. Green = shamrock = type of plant = healthy for you. No flaws in that logic, right?

So at lunch I decided to do a quick drive by to my local McDonalds near work. Went through the drive-thru. (I would have gotten up to go inside had this been an unhealthy snack.) Alas — their shake machine was broken. I sulked and had to resort to getting a Robek’s smoothie instead. Far more expensive — which, of course, is a telltale sign that it’s extremely good for you.

I picked up the kid from pre-school a bit early and, since it was still light out, I decided he was in for a treat! I pulled behind the cars already in line and, when it was my turn, asked for my shamrock shake.

“We don’t have that right now.”

Huh?

“We have chocolate and vanilla and strawberry.”

Oh — no she di’int!

I asked if they will have it tomorrow, perhaps? I didn’t want to let down the kid.

“I don’t work tomorrow. Today we have chocolate, vanilla and strawberry.”

I left the drive-thru line, conceding defeat for the day. It was sad — the day has passed without a shamrock shake nestled in my belly. If not for this, what does St. Patrick’s Day stand for?